9 Things That'll Happen When We Run out of Oil

Keith Kohl

Written By Keith Kohl

Posted October 25, 2007

Editor’s Note: If you enjoyed this list, feel free to check out the most recent peak oil list. Let’s face it, you should know how precarious the U.S. oil industry can be. After all, U.S. production has been in a steady decline for forty years! Take a minute to read a light-hearted view of the 9 Things We’ll See Down the Back Side of Peak Oil

Once again, oil prices have proved they will not drop quietly into the winter. This afternoon, I quickly glanced at the television to check up on oil prices. After all, yesterday they were hovering around $85 a barrel. For a minute, I thought this was a sign that prices would finally start heading lower. I was wrong.

During trading today, oil jumped to a high of $90.60 per barrel!

So in honor of oil prices reaching another record today, I’d like to give you a light-hearted glimpse into the world of peak oil….

9 Things That’ll Happen When We Run out of Oil

10. Embattled Senator Larry Craig (R. Idaho) begins writing what will soon become the N.Y. Times best-selling book, Taking a ‘Wide Stance’ on Alternative Energy.

9. Bush is overheard saying, "Hmm…maybe this solar energy thing ain’t such a bad idea."

8. NASCAR races are shortened to 3 ½ laps. Drivers must hop to the finish in a ‘sack race’…Jeff Gordon still wins.

7. The U.S military pulls out of Iraq, saying, "Screw democracy."

6. Ford Launches new "Flintstones" option with detachable floorboards.

5. Decrepit oil drilling and pumping rigs around the world are purchased for 3 cents on the dollar by Disney Corp. for its new adventure ride.

4. Willie Nelson inks a deal with Exxon to promote a new line of hemp-powered "high-brid" vehicles.

3. Pasty, old, white politicians remind everyone that, "Skateboarding is not a crime — it’s an energy-efficient form of transportation…dudes."

2. Jiffy Lubes across the U.S. convert into coffee shops overnight.

1. In 2030, …

Before you start wondering, there’s a good reason why we said 9 and not 10… my top spot is incomplete. It’s because I want to know what you think deserves the top spot.

All that I ask from you is this: Don’t pull the punches, although judging from the countless emails I get every week from readers (I’d like to add that many of you have taught me a thing or two in the past), that won’t be a problem.

In order to send me your submissions, please feel free to click the "Comment on this Article" link below.

Until next time,

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Keith Kohl

Energy and Capital

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